My opinion on “The Guardian Idea”

I am getting to it but first ………………………………… this is “Without Prejudice”

From my perspective and observations from dealing with my divorce, I believe that the current divorce process is a very destructive process. It appears to be hell bent on driving forward with no sensitivity or consideration to the parties, or the families involved in the divorce process. It becomes about many things, but mainly it is about the process rather than the families.

The process is flawed in that it appears to assume that both parties are telling the truth and that both solicitors are of equal status and are keen to see that a fair result is the outcome. So what happens when one party is dishonest in their representations to the court? and what happens when the solicitors are not of equal status? I know the answer to that!

The adversarial nature of contesting the most reasonable view, or a document put forward, ensures that the parties involved get into the swing of the process of distrust and accusation, which ultimately fuels the actions of the participants in the process as it goes forward to its ultimate destructive conclusion. In many instances the breakdown of relationships within families, and on many occasions the breakdown of a family.

I have found myself in the position of reacting and becoming adversarial during this process, time and time again and indeed, I have to own up to having to create a mind set of “going to war” in order to get through the frustrations and absolute madness of the process.

To work out that an opposing solicitor will do all that he can to win, or get the best result that they can for their client in a case, is an eye opener. This is the norm irrespective of actual fact regarding what actually has happened, who gets hurt or the ultimate outcome in terms of destroyed relationships and lives. It begs the question, why not play Ludo or snakes and ladders to see who wins?

At least Ludo or snakes and ladders is a known game of chance with rules of play that allow for a logical game outcome given that the players roll the dice, make their move and what will be will be, the chance element. It strikes me that the divorce process is determined by the prowess and presentation of a solicitor, mainly within rules with try ons, irrespective of the right or wrong outcome. So in many respects the same as Ludo or snakes and ladders, with the element of chance being the choice of solicitor.

Surely the divorce process is governed by the law, which is in place to ensure that a just and equitable outcome is always arrived at. I would therefore argue that given the FACTS of a case, an outcome should always be predictable when those facts are applied to the law. No chance element should be involved in the outcome. This sadly appears not to be the case at all.

The idea of using a guardian is to change the current adversarial approach to dealing with divorce, to a considered and more sensitive approach. Lets have a group of retired professional people available on an expenses plus basis. Good people with great people skills, who still have much and who still wish to contribute to others.

Payment for their costs and services can be made by the courts and claimed back by the court from the parties involved in the divorce on a per court visit basis. To have someone who is not making a profit from your hurt is a good start and to have someone asking you to think and weigh up the consequences of comment or actions, before they are taken, would avoid much of the distress caused by the current process.

I do not suggest that it would cure all the distress and fallouts that a divorce promotes and generates, but I am certain that by adopting such an approach, a real benefit would be that many more families and split partners would stand a chance of coming through this process with a chance of friendship and respect after an appropriate time period.

The other benefit is that the earning potential for solicitors diminishes to more reasonable charge rates, they would have to in order to compete with the guardians! – now humbled solicitors – I am dreaming!

To be continued……