Marion’s POA

Upon my wife’s father’s passing, all 4 of their children discussed and set up a care plan which included financial, health and the day to day care of their mum. Each taking a different role to suit their skills, lifestyles and availability. My wife’s dad had always taken care of the banking, bill paying etc and owing to this and sight, hearing and mobility issues her mum was unable to manage this after his passing, therefore she asked one of her sons to have a financial Power of Attorney drawn up. All transactions were fully discussed/agreed upon with Marion and my wife was asked by her brother to check through all accounts/bills etc on a regular basis.

My wife and her sister cared for health issues and their mum’s personal needs and care. My wife’s sister and other brother were also involved with the property care and maintenance and matters relating to insurance and so on. Regular discussions with input from partners were a regular feature to ensure that all decisions were taken in her best interests.

Although it was discussed on several occasions it was decided that to preserve my wife’s mum’s dignity, respect and where possible independence a power of attorney for health would only be taken by my wife if it became absolutely necessary for her health & safety.

There were several disagreements along the way that were dealt with in the best interest of my wife’s mum and although the decisions taken were not always agreed upon by all at the time, they were handled and implemented in a manner that all would now say was fair and open in all respects.

Initially, the family tried to help her live at home by putting in a regime of daily and regular visits from family members. All meals were prepared and served at her home by the family which also gave three mealtime visits per day, shopping, cleaning etc done on a weekly basis. This was shared amongst her children, their partners and her grandchildren. She was loved, and all steps were taken to ensure that her quality of life was as best as possible.

Marion was fully involved and had the final say in all important decisions that needed to be made regarding her health matters, finances, property and so on.

Despite involvement from Social Services, doctors, home visiting opticians and regular visits from the mental health team this was still not enough to stave off the loneliness and the health and other problems that come with age, and bereavement Marion was moved into a care home after it became too difficult for her to live alone with family support. As her sight deteriorated, her safety became a major concern to all and the family along with the support services involved discussed and decided that it was best to move her into a care home. To ease this for her, she went to live in a nursing home where one of her daughter in laws was part of the care management team. Once again this was done with her involvement and again a full visiting regime was implemented that involved all family members and continued throughout her stay. Hospital visits, doctors’ surgery and home visits were shared throughout all of the family.

Social services were fully involved in all aspects of her needs which included medical, mental health and social needs. Advice was sought from social services in order to ensure all was being done that could be done by the family. She should have had no doubts that she was loved and cared for by all of her family.

A will had not been made so one was made through discussion of her wishes, all under the guidance and where necessary the presence of a solicitor. Although only 2 of the children assisted and attended when their mums met with the solicitors to draw up the will. A draft copy of the will was forwarded to all and all had the opportunity for any input before the will was finalised and legalised. The will was fair and equal to all of her children and 2 children that being my wife and her brother were tasked with being the executors of the will again all was upfront and agreed by all before this was set up.

As with how the family dealt with my wife’s mum’s arrangements and quality of life, after she passed away two and a half years later, her funeral was dealt with in the same manner. It was a personal, warm and suitably humorous tribute and a family affair with family members sharing memories, writing verses and stories with a family gathering after to celebrate her life over a drink or two, and if memory serves me correctly, a game of pool.

Before the house was cleared and prepared for selling, the 4 siblings each went to the house and selected any sentimental items, keepsakes or other items of furniture etc, after this and inturn the grandchildren were invited in to do the same to ensure that all were able to have something personal to remember both Charlie and Marion and their own childhoods memories with momentoes linked to the house and the family.

The house was a lovely cottage but quaint and outdated so whilst 3 estate agents gave their estimate on a sale all agreed that it would be a project for a builder and would not get a great price because of this. Although my wife and her brother were dealing with the house sale as executors, copies of the valuations were given to the other 2 siblings out of respect and to keep them informed. When a private offer was made from a family member at the uppermost price given by any of the estate agents this was accepted which meant that further savings were made and put in the collective pot. Whilst the probate period was ongoing several other family concerns relating to a piece of land was also resolved amicability which resulted in a further sum of monies going into the pot which again was equally shared out with the 4 siblings.

Many ideas and things were put into place to preserve the memory and legacy of Charlie and Marion including the builders placing a plaque on the side of the newly renovated house “In memory of Mr & Mrs Atkinson” the new house owners have agreed to leave it on and hopefully when they sell the house the new buyers will keep it in place also.

The solicitors, Symes, Baines Broomer were contacted for advice during the probate period and the 2 executors were complemented towards the conduct of the family in how all matters were handled. They expressed a view that all legal requirements in terms of keeping all family members advised were not only exceeded but were carried out well. The amounts involved were not a huge sum but to ensure complete transparency for all beneficiaries when probate was completed an accountant was employed to audit and draw up the accounts and copies given to all beneficiaries. The executors were advised this was not a requirement but praised for taking this above and beyond approach.

The split responsibilities of the POA’s and the “committee style” approach to decisions were a major factor in getting through a tough period and getting through it well.