That Box In The Loft!

I was cleaning out the loft in order to accommodate yet more children’s toys and came across some boxes that needed taking to the skip but I came across one box that made me think. It was a box that contained a lot of documents that related to the breakdown of most, if not quite all of the relationships in what was once my family. Like most important things the box made me reflect and as I started to look at the contents it made me think of some stuff that I had written whilst going through a very nasty divorce and it made me ask, what should I do with the box and what should I do with the mydivorcefiasc.co.uk website/blog.

I had moved on and rebuilt from this time and as with most people, as time passes, bad periods are layered over with the good periods, the onion effect, and you move on. Much had happened since that time and I guess it was time to decide what to do with the box and the website. A chunk of writing done at a difficult and worrying time which was fully backed up with documentation. I had kept everything up to this point hoping that at some point those that had been involved would read and know categorically what had occurred and why. Now not so much interested in the self justification, as I said, I had moved on.

I had no idea what to do with it, so I sat down and re-read it.

A strange thing happened, I was back there fighting with my ex and her solicitors and reliving every moment of the injustice that was thrown at me from the self serving bunch of people out for financial gain. People who were prepared to lie and act out silly charades to their own ends and their own ego’s. – Another moment, don’t actors and actresses get paid a lot of money for fictional drama, maybe that is why some solicitors charge so much!

Amazingly, I had no thoughts and certainly no feelings either way regarding my ex. I guess I always was aware how dis-honest she was and as the writing and comments along with the outcome show, she got what was due, nothing more and nothing less. I am surprised at my lack of feeling toward the person as I can think of no other situation or person in my life that has created the same outcome.

I read the rhymes and emoted a little, reminded at just how much this unhealthy and dishonest process had affected me at the time. The rhymes also got me back in the moment and I decided that it had relevance to me and therefore it should be kept. I wanted to take down the mydivorcefiasco site and decided to add it as an archive to thatislife.co.uk which is a new family site that allows comment on family related issues and it also allows caution in terms of using social media sites. Linking a full article to a social media site would retain full context of any comment made as opposed to posting an abbreviated comment, which can cause issues.

So the box and the website are going to be kept with every post dated as it was written but shown as updated on the day they were transferred to the new location. I have also decided that over the next couple of months I will expand the site to catch up with how things have finally turned out and to fill in some of the missing detail. This is primarily done for me, to make sure that I have fully dealt with it however, if you come across the site and catch a few of the remarks, I hope they make sense.

For those that do come across the site, I should add that my children were in their mid 30’s when this process was going on and that one of them is a solicitor. The decisions made and actions taken were a considered choice on their part and with one of my daughters, fully on her partners part. I will respect their choices without further discussion.

I am in a very good place and moving on for me was a good thing. I have been fortunate to be allowed to participate in Sandra’s children’s children’s lives and the joy that comes from children. My son who lives with us is also fully involved as and when he wishes. No life is complete without difficulties, they come and go and are a part of life that we all have to deal with however, what I would say is that in a good life, the good times should far outweigh the bad. That is the case with my life now.

The box and the website that were part of my life
The fact and the comment that help me through strife
A tough moment in time they helped me get through
To a much better time and finally, I got to you

If we write when were angry is it bigoted, is it fair
At a time when were pissed off we don’t fcuking care
Perhaps that’s the relevance of when we write then
To be reminded of times we don’t wish to go back to again

I’m sure there’s a point here or is it just rhyming trash
But why would I do it, write so much for no cash
It’s of values I share I wanted to be judged by those
Ex-wife & solicitors, their values? Goodness knows!

To be finished……..Maybe