Anger and then Some
Its 3.08 Monday, another late night, early morning which will result in another day of nothing done.
Really down with this and on top of this I have a lot to do in order to get my partner and her family moved out and back into her own home, away from this horrible experience, an experience which at times I feel will be the end of me.
This is part of the cost in a case like mine, I have dealt with this once but it has come back to haunt me. The problem of course is that it has also come back to haunt other people who are now in my life, people who were not involved in the breakdown.
Owing to the continual pressures involved, the final straw being that the law seems to think it has the right to bully it’s way through other peoples lives, in this instance, my partners. Neither my partner or I will accept. My partner and I had decided a couple of months ago to step back from our relationship for now.
We say that we are going to review this again after this divorce has been dealt with, I want to, but I do not want my partner to have to deal with this, or any more issues relating to the problematical approach to life that some of my family/ex family members have, in living their lives. Problems that invariably end up on my partners and my doorstep.
I think I know really that I have to leave my partner alone and let her get on with her own life and that of her own family. They are great people, honest and good fun but most of all they are always there for other people who need help. I know her view on helping others has changed and like myself she now believes that we are not considered fit to afford assistance to others who may need it, or at least we feel that way.
Each of us will I suspect, like many other people, no longer wish to get involved, instead we will leave that to the law, solicitors and the like, even though we know, that many people will be let down by these people. They argue that they are the reasoned part of society. “Part of” is the important part of that statement and it is something that they might do well to remember.
When asked by my daughter, why did my partner and I feel we had to separate, she could not understand how we both felt in terms of the intrusion into our lives. The law wants to treat our relationship like some kind of second hand car and evaluate it, in order to determine its value. This is utterly offensive and I am certain that it infringes upon both of our human rights!
My daughter could also not understand other consequences that will lead from this divorce. I tried to explain that based on the fact that everyone knew in my own family that I had settled this out with their mother, I am astonished that not one of them stepped forward in my defence. I feel now that I could not trust these people again and know that I never will again.
So the extent to which old relationships will be severed is still being worked through and is a depressing subject. Those that “did not want to get involved” in time to come will be forced to evaluate the wisdom of that stance. For me it is looking as though this Christmas will be a very inexpensive Christmas.
It occurs to me with the mayhem and destruction that my life is going through right now, that maybe the law does not realise that sometimes, not always, it is used as a weapon of retribution by people. Some people are just born hard done to and will never be pleased with anything. So …………!
Words Unclear – A. Nitwit R.H.O. (Really Hacked Off)
What’s the point of talking when you know I can not hear
Little voices in my head that, that make your words unclear
Still you go on nagging, to expand upon your view
Perhaps its time to leave the room, it is the easiest thing to do
If only we could leave it there and let the subject drop
Impossible of course, you carry on, can’t make you stop
As the talking turns to nagging and the nagging turns to what?
We have blown the conversation and our tempers have got hot
So now I hear the history of all I’ve said and all I’ve not done
How I’ve disappointed through the years and what I have become
Your life’s potential has not been reached, It’s unjust, its so unfair
Of course I accept it’s my fault, I’m never interested, never there
And of course your mum was right, you should not have married me
You could have achieved and become anything you wished, obviously
I accept that I have held you back and the children have also too
We have never pushed or contributed in any way, in anything you do
Oh and here it comes the favourite, a reference to my infidelity
How I could not live in your idyllic dream, I had to set me free
Of the hurt I caused and the calamity, you have left me in no doubt
As I sit to rationalise and emote, to find out what it was all about
What‘s the point in me talking when the conclusions have been reached
With injustice, with indignance in your head that cannot be breached
The fact that we have parted and we have moved on I do not regret
But because we made our children, my thanks to you, that we had met.
